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Thursday, March 24, 2011

Prayers For Bobby...

I have never cried so much in my life. And so this will be very brief.

I have never been so proud of the mother I have in this life, She rolled with the very hard punch of learning that her baby boy was gay. I know that part of her would rather me be straight, mainly because it would be an easier life for me. But, I feel that anything worth having, should never come easy.

I was such a scared young man when I came home almost nine, maybe ten years ago. I was going to come home, to this crazy Christian area of the world, and tell them that "this is who I am, and if you don't like it, Fuck off" And as I spent the next week going to my friends and family and telling them that "This is who I am, and if you don't like it, fuck off". I was lucky and only had to say Fuck off once. And, I hope he is doing well.

Please, if you are reading this, and you have kids, wants kids, or know of kids. Them being gay is minute. Sexuality is such a small part of who we are as people, and we make too big a deal of it. We do the same with Religion. I was born this way, God put me in this chubby body, put a nice head of hair on my head, and created me gay. Why? No clue, Don't care, I am happy. He did good work. And as long as our children are happy with who there are, and who they grow up to be. Isn't that the more important thing, than what goes on in their bedroom?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sometimes I hate my dreams...

I don't like being woken up by my dreams, ones that really upset me are the worst.

The dream started with me in a dark room, sitting in a chair, with a bright light hanging above my head. I sit there for several minutes there is no noise, no movement around me. Then all of a sudden there a light above another chair turns on. In the chair is a non-descript man who proceeds to attack me verbally about my sexuality. And that it state in the ten commandments how man shall not lay with man as he does woman. And I retort that it also states that Thou shall not kill. It was then that my mind flooded with images of my friends and classmates and family members that were cops and soldiers, people who defended our country, our cities, our very way of lives. In Hell. Because they killed someone. That person then tells me that they defended their country there will an exception and I yelled back that the ten commandments has no exceptions. If I am going to hell because I am gay, they rest assured that they are going to hell because they killed.

Now, I don't like that at all. I would much rather everything be hunky-dory and everyone I love be in heaven, but, the way things are written it is in black and white, not this grey area where we want one to be. And I don't like it. All I am saying is that people that follow that thing called religion, which I am not a subscriber to for reasons I may write down at some point, they can't pick and choose the parts that work for them, but, whether they want to or not, they do. They pick the parts that affect their life and the parts that would actually state that they might not be as good of a Christian as they think they are or say something that they don't want to hear, they choose to ignore it.


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Ok, I admit it. I'm a diva

Di * Va
[dee-vuh, -vah]
–noun, plural -vas, -ve
a distinguished female singer; prima donna.

Yes, I realize that I am not a female. But, I fall underneath this connotation. The negative one.

Now some Divas grace the stage with all of the power of the gods and goddesses of ancient history. The problem with that is, those gods and goddesses try to wield that power off stage. And, Dammit I am guilty!

I was listening to the TheatreGeeks podcast and I realized that I fall under the subject of diva. I have been blessed with a little bit of talent, okay, my diva-ness will not allow me to say a little bit. I have a moderate well of talent, it spreads over a lot of fields. I have heard from my own mouth as to how I will not take a small role due to the fact that I have had some bigger parts. How dare I.

Now today I will be auditioning for the show The Drowsy Chaperone. And, though I might not get a main role, hopefully I will be getting a role. now the only thing is I need to remain humble. I will admit that I am not as strong of a singer as I am a character actor. but, hey who knows. I am just going to try to keep my diva down.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I'm Tired...

I have a odd sleep schedule, one of the reasons why I haven't been blogging, It gets me up at odd hours and knocks me out the same way.
Why are people so close minded? Things that will slightly rock your world happen all the time and when someone brings it up to your attention, Do you shy away? Do you read it and take it in and make an assessment? Or do you attack the person that brought the information to the light?
If you can't tell this happened to me. And even though I had other articles that proved part of what the original post was talking about, I was dismissed and in some ways put down. Because of that person' s, how do I want to put this?, um, Shit, I took off the article and went about my day. Now he might complain that I did it because I didn't agree with him, or He upset me. and the truth of the matter is that it is my page and I can put up and take off what I want, and I also don't need such a close minded person tainting an interesting article.
But, Anyway. I turned in some old games to the local GameStop so I could get the new Pokemon game. HEHE, I love it, it is the first time in a long time that every Pokemon in the game is new. So, anyway, open your minds, allow other people to influence you, but, don't let them take over, and speaking of taking over, I must go catch em all!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Happy Thoughts

Libbie Fudim once said "Recall as often as you wish; a happy memory never wears out." And of course, this got me thinking. What has happened in my life that always makes me smile?

Well, Probably the most recent thing to happen to me that will get me to smile for years to come, is the laughter from the audience as I walked out on stage wearing the Titania outfit from "Leading Ladies". Every night the audience was loud and raucous, but, the first night was amazing, because there I stood in full drag, trying to fight the smile on my face because I know how I looked. Other theater moments are just as good, but, there is nothing like being in drag to really let you know what you can do for your art.
Next on the list would have to be: Holding my nephew Colton for the first time. That was the first time in my whole history of being an uncle, that I got to hold my nephew so soon after him being born. Now, I have always been able to hold my nephews and nieces early in their lives, within a couple days usually. But, with Colton, It was within his first hours of life. It was amazing. So small, so fresh, so innocent. I was so lucky that day, I had to work a half day at my job, and I left for the hospital right after. I really felt blessed.
Next on a slightly more comical note: every time I listen to the Spice Girls I can't help but smile. I mean come on, they were a hit my senior year, the song came out the summer before I started school. And, I was sooooo into them. Why I didn't just say I was gay then I will never know.
I think it is very important that every once in awhile, we look back on our lives to remind us that, Yes, those were different times, but, they are to be treasured. The bad and the good brought us to this point. I live a life of no regret. if I would change one small thing, the person who sits here and writes these blogs would be a totally different person. Please look on your past and smile.