9 Days, 9 Blogs and The Phoenix

So, I saw this on another blog, and I decided to steal it for myself:

Day 1: Nine things about yourself.

Day 2: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day 3: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day 4: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day 5: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Day 6: Four turn offs.

Day 7: Three turn ons.

Day 8: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day 9: One confession.

Okay, Day one, nine things about myself:

1. I am gay
2. I am half-Canadian
3. I have been playing Dungeon and Dragons since I was eight.
4. I was once nationally ranked in tennis, it was a four digit number, but, still nationally ranked.
5. I am an avid game player, I like them all. Card, board, video, rpg, strategy, shooter... you name it, I play it
6. I used to be able to Mariah Carey, once in awhile I like to try.
7. My favorite drink at Starbucks is a Venti Caramel White Mocha.
8. Favorite computer game is Rollercoaster Tycoon.
9. I pick up clothes off of my floor with my toes.

There, that wasn't so bad. And, I think that I will post one of my old poems:

The Phoenix

by: Scott Alan Fowler

Year Written: 1996

The phoenix rises above those who wish to trespass against her.

She breathes her fire, throws stones, and rakes her claws against her enemies.

But a lone arrow,

Small as can be,

Pierces her almost invulnerable body,

and into her heart.

The people leaves as she dies,

and is consumed by her own flames,

she lies there dead,

and seemingly lifeless.

A spark, a glow, and then a flame.

The phoenix arises from the very flames,

that consume her.

She is reborn,

alive and renewed.

She rises up and flies away to a place,

where she will be safe,

away from the trespassers

and the killers.

To a place where she will be loved,

And not tormented by those who wish to hurt her.

I wrote that so many moons ago, it seems like I was a different person back then. I guess in a way, I am.

I read that poem now, and I am reminded of the hurt I felt in school, but never said. How much of our lives do we fake it?

Just go through the motions, trying not to feel, trying not to let anyone know what we are really feeling. Thankfully I don't do that as much as I used to.

Yes, I still do it. I normally don't say anything because I don't want people to worry about me. I don't know where to go with that statement.

I guess it is just that I don't think that I am worth the problem.