Day Four, Wishes that I wouldn't really change.

Day 1: Nine things about yourself.

Day 2: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day 3: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day 4: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day 5: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Day 6: Four turn offs.

Day 7: Three turn ons.

Day 8: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day 9: One confession.

Day 4: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Now, before I start this list, I want you to realize this. Though I will put this list down, I don't have any regrets. This is why. If I were to change, just one little thing, it would unravel who I am as a person to my very core. I LOVE who I am on the inside, I am fantastic, I am fierce, I am a man to admire and take notes from. I live my life my own way, and people who don't like it, can go to hell. And now to the list.

1. I wish I never signed for those damn credit cards in college~ I am still paying for that shit, seriously. Credit card companies should be blown up for the way they target kids that are away from home, and most, like myself, don't have an idea about personal finance. Shame on them.
2. I wish that I had not stayed as long as I did, when I had to put my cat Garfield to sleep~ Garfield was an amazing cat. I felt that I had a duty to be with him. That was probably the dumbest thing I did, because it almost ruined my memories of him.
3. I wish that I never told Emily Appenzeller that we were never were boyfriend and girlfriend~ One, It hurt her feelings way back then, and, Two, I found the notebook that I had wrote in code "I love Emily" after she and I had graduated high school. Sorry Emily.
4. I wish that I stuck with college~ Maybe, MAYBE, I would have a career. Maybe. Just saying, you all know how the economy is right now. there is no guarantee.
5. I wish that I would have toughed it out in St. Louis~ St. Louis was very good to me, I was able to come out and be out fully there. It would have been a hard road, but, hey who knows what would have happened.
6. I wish I would have never stayed in the closet in school~ I knew I was gay, I knew it. But, I was sooooo afraid of what would have happened.

Okay with all of that being said, I am happy with my choices. As imperfect as my life is, I love it. If one of those choices would have been different, I would have been different, and the people that I have in my life now would have been different. I accept the screw up I made, but, honestly, they weren't screw ups. If everything in our lives went perfect, there would be no need for television, because there would be no crime, no drama, no romance, nothing that thrills us, nothing that scares us, nothing that is anything but perfect.

Perfect sucks, You don't learn from perfect. You don't grow if things are perfect. With these six choices and so many others, that didn't quite go the way that might have been the most beneficial for me, I have blossomed into the quite fantastic person that I currently am. Fuck perfection.